R. Kelly - Trapped In The Closet Chapters 1-12

This is R. Kelly's gift to mankind - a "hip-hopera" (his words) based on what one presumes is an average day-in-the-life of a big time R&B singer. He adopts the persona of 'Sylvester' (Kelly's real-life middle name), who finds himself waking up in a woman's bed. Except, this woman isn't his wife! And her husband is coming up the stairs! So, we follow the progress of our man's quest to get his "crazy ass out this house", and the various events that unfold.

As the various sexual connections reveal themselves, you quickly realize that in the world of hip-hopera's, "monogamy" might as well be an expensive wood. Despite Sylvester's frequent pleas to resolve the on-going confrontations "Christian-like", most scenes escalate to gunplay, or a good old-fashioned midget fight.

Nothing is sacred and, in one memorable scene, spatulas are involved. Should this be the last thing R. Kelly ever does (and I hope to God it isn't), it will be more than enough to assure his infamy.

"I can't believe it's a man!"