ijonny wrote:

http://textsfromlastnight.com/

If it has not been posted before, you are welcome ;)

(607): You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me

bedhed3000 wrote:

(718): I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?

bedhed3000 wrote:

(262): I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.

ROFL!

Anita_Schmetterling wrote:

I have some decent ones on my phone.

"Juan atkins...and still no slut boxing/-staging alowed? Fuck it still dancing like hell"

"Okay so last week everything wasn't purple"

"Dina you should! And don't drink too much alcohol- go to bed :)"

"BTW I walked the walk of shame yesterday, straight out of k's house :) Love you!"

cinquante_neuf wrote:

also: http://mydrunktexts.com/

Sub.Frequency wrote:

(850): best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!

Sub.Frequency wrote:

These are too good to stop reading! (412): he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?

Sub.Frequency wrote:

(412): I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them

Sub.Frequency wrote:

(512): You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?

Sub.Frequency wrote:

(847): So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be

Sub.Frequency wrote:

funfunfun I just submitted "Should've left your boobies alone working with a boner now"

cinquante_neuf wrote:

http://textsfromlastnight.com/view/54545

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btN5yuVcRes

Anita_Schmetterling wrote:

Chicago North Suburbs represent!

ijonny wrote:

Austin represent! :p

Sub.Frequency wrote:

^ yes :)

(614): if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it

psymonkey wrote:

(203): nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
(508): how many servings is brandon's dick?

bedhed3000 wrote:

This has become mandatory daily reading for me.

ijonny wrote:

(703): Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days

bedhed3000 wrote:

(715): I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

djerome wrote:

(203): trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me

djerome wrote:

(970): The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero

djerome wrote:

(215): I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?


(405): I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.

(916): rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war

djerome wrote:

SMART:

(607): You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me

sea.envy wrote:

yeah, its good!

Sub.Frequency wrote:

(618): Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake

Sub.Frequency wrote:

Hahaha!! Best nights of all time:


(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

(909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
(1-847): How was it?
(847): Fantastic, but that's not the point.

(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

(407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...


(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

ijonny wrote:

(860): i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.

psymonkey wrote:

Who trips on Ambien? I must have gotten a bad batch. Get drunk of Cutter much?

Sub.Frequency wrote:

^ Not sure if ambien delusions or "hallucinations" could be compared to other hallucinogenic drug experiences. I think it's more like dreaming while still being able to talk and move around.

bedhed3000 wrote:

(504): I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.

bedhed3000 wrote:

(336): i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self

Sub.Frequency wrote:

^ awesome

Sub.Frequency wrote:

Speaking of -

ijonny have you gotten out much in Austin yet? I work at hipster douchebag palace, otherwise known as Spiderhouse. You should come in and let me make you a hipster douchebag martini or cappuccino sometime.

ijonny wrote:

Sweet, yeah I am here and pretty much settled in, though have not gone out much other than Fun Fun Fun Fest, ACL and a couple trips to 6th street area.

I think I had your number at one point but I lost my phone and all contact numbers. Hit me up with a PM and we will sort something out :)

Sub.Frequency wrote:

You mean no fun no fun no fun? ;) Lol I'll pm.

ijonny wrote:

Hey I got to see 7 Seconds and Youth Brigade for the first time in something like um... 23 years? Haha.

bedhed3000 wrote:

(516): Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you

ijonny wrote:

From the Worst Nights of all time:

(404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
(1-404): Two?
(404): Two.

Ouch.

Sub.Frequency wrote:

Fucking Atlanta hoes!

bedhed3000 wrote:

(210): By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

Sub.Frequency wrote:

(514): Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

Anita_Schmetterling wrote:

(720): haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"

ijonny wrote:

(817): The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.


(757): if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby

(678): while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.

bedhed3000 wrote:

(908): why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?