Lucy (12) And Klock* ‎– War Lullaby

Label:
Stroboscopic Artefacts ‎– SA024
Format:
Vinyl, 12", 45 RPM
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Barcode and Other Identifiers

  • Matrix / Runout (Side A): A SA024 pole@scapemastering
  • Matrix / Runout (Side B): B SA024 pole@scapemastering

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maroko

maroko

August 1, 2015
This record goes absolutely nowhere. On a good day that is. Let me get one thing clear though: I have nothing but mad respect for both Ben Klock and Luca Mortellaro, first and foremost as label curators, and then as DJs. Both run highly respectable imprints, and many releases dropped under those flagships proudly reside on my shelf. As DJs, they're quite competent, although far from the creme de la creme of techno. Ben Klock especially made a wise decision to steer clear of studio duties, and focused on gigs. Sure, he churned out the gorgeous melodic chugger Compression Session, and he had pimple faced adolescents by the dozens copping his Below Zero tune, but that's where it pretty much ends. His label, though, Klockworks, has plenty good techno to please everyone's taste.
Lucy, on the other hand, is at the helm of Stroboscopic Artefacts, a highly respected techno pillar that veers between experimentalism and dance floor functionality - very successfully might I add. If you check the artist roster, it's quite impressive. In addition to that, the label constantly offers deluxe packages for fetishists and compulsive collectors. An all around complete treat for music aficionados. Unfortunately, his production skills are light years behind. So what do we have here? Well, nothing, in reality.

If I could just describe how pointless the two "ambient" tunes (Bliss and A Ghost Lovestory) are, I'd call it a day. Obsolete attempts at melody work, shallow arrangements, no depth or gravity, nothing. This goes especially for the B2 tune, which... Well, I guess they climbed at the roof top of the building where their studio is located, had a cigarette, and in the meanwhile, recorded the wind bounce off of skyscraper tops. For six minutes. Just enough time to hit a nice cancer stick. Pointless par excellence.

The techno cuts. War Lullaby. Oh boy. If those cheesy vocoder vocals don't make you hit stop at around the one minute mark, you deserve to hear it through. Wait, the melody. Once, when I was nine, I went to Vienna. I was brought to Toys 'R' Us, where I got to play this digital keyboard. The sounds emitted by that sophisticated piece of equipment are pretty much present throughout this piece. Oh yeah, and this goes on for nine and half minutes. For real. Oh yes, the cheese militia is back around the six minute mark just to remind you to what extent can awful and misplaced vocal bits spoil an already lackluster tune. Great. This will again be played never. Santeria, one of those characterless mid tempo work-outs that just plod. And plod. And plod. Then plod some more. Wait, there are some congas (for real, again) added some four and a half minute deep. Other then that, this just lazily limps on with the most generic preset of effects and sequences I've heard in a while. First aid techno kit used to the fullest right here. In addition to that, it barely moves along at an incredibly boring pace of 120BPM. Meaningless.

How could this ever come out on Stroboscopic Artefacts is beyond me. After the spectacular five piece showcase and celebration of the label's five year anniversary, which really displayed the range and strength it possesses, something as bland and banal as this can only turn the casual listener away. Luckily, this putrid of an excuse for a release is merely a little stain on a spotless mirror.