Secret Cinema ‎– White Men Can't Funk

EC Records ‎– EC 046, EC Records ‎– ECLP01
2 × Vinyl, 12", Album

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This album is dedicated to my father (may he rest in peace) and my mother (who had to deal with it)

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  • Barcode: 8 713637 892802

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June 25, 2010

This is such an overwhelming release. It's one of those double packs I'd carry around the world with me no matter where I go if portable record players existed!
A1 Acid Come is a stomping techno burner with heavy drum rolls accentuated by deep bass getting ran over by a wicked 303 sequence. After a while a really lush synth stab kicks in, perfectly complementing this barrage of massive electronics. No tricks and strings attached, Jeroen dusted off his Roland and went back to basics with this one. A tune for generations to enjoy!
On the flip side we have Present/Past, a break beatish tech house track, with a quirky and muddy bass line, but with well incorporated piano keys. Not the most impressive thing he's ever come up with, but nothing can change the fact it's still a mighty fine piece of music!
B2 has Deep Shit, an ecstatic, funky, uplifting and rapturous techno work out infused with sonar signal or warning hooks! Slamming, goes with anything Speedy J-ish from the era. You know, massive snares, larger than life build ups leading to off the wall sonic eruptions of pure and untarnished techno madness. This one is deep, very deep and club effective!

The second vinyl features two typical techno bangers from around the turn of the century. Linear, 4x4 structures with effective loops which can have your head spin in circular circumferences for days without stop. Especially Da Break, which is an almost nine minute hypnosis into the electronic spectrum, which will just suck you in with its cracking percussion and loopy passages, making you involontarily move your feet levoratory. In Between is more of the same, but not as long or memorable (distinct) as the other bangers here.
For My Love, and I give it to my fellow reviewer here, is one of the finest and soul piercing pieces of Detroit techno recorded by a non Detroit techno (duh) producer - ever! Mr. Verheij puts his heart on a platter on this one. Gorgeous strings, luxuriant melodies and lavish pads. To think a track this moving can earn its place and hold its own against such abrassive and sharp tunes like the other ones here is absurd. Way to go, this obviously a work of a man who can excel at just about anything musical, and that goes for this entire release!

Overall, this one is spectacular. There isn't a single track I'd rate with less than 4 out of a 5, and those would perhaps be only Present/Past and In Between. But if those are the low points, and trust me, there are albums out there where tracks like those would be deemed stand outs, then hopefully you can realize how well crafted the remainder of this release is. I don't think "White men can't funk" has been released in digital format anywhere, and the CD isn't quite the easiest item to stumble upon these days, so if you are one of those eternally doomed life forms who traded your turntables in for Ableton softwares and Dell laptops, I have no other choice but lighting a candle for your eternally lost soul. This needs to be heard by fans of electronic music, everywhere at any time!


October 27, 2007

Can't understand why no one wrote a review on this one.

This album was produced in 2001, as one would say "when techno was still techno". Well, this is techno at it's best.

"Acid Come" is the slammer on this double pack. Furious basses and profound 303 sounds with a hypnotising effect. Yumm!

B-Side offers a mediocre breakbeat set, but this is rapidly forgotten by "Deep Shit", with a clever burbling melody under the surface.

"Da Break" brings the post-2000 techno, furious, no-prisoner loop sounds with the necessary sublety.

This brings us to the highlight on this album (imo)"For my Love". Jeroen has made a wide range of productions and proves with this track that he's able to bring classy Detroit techno too. Very classy!