Anthems I wish had never existed...

By 8892sales
updated 6 months ago

These are the popular, cheesiest sounding rave / dance anthems which I've either never liked or I've become totally sick of due to them being overplayed. Mostly the former though.

P.S. I've exaggerated my dislike of some for effect and the tongue n cheek / devil's advocate factor. Everyone has different tastes, mine possibly more limited than others. I've come to that age now where I don't give a flying cobbler's and feel there isn't a need to be polite anymore. This is extremely self-indulgent but it's ever so cathartic :)

  1. 4 For Sale from $22.77

    This one tops the lot for the most irritating, cheesiest, cringiest, most overplayed anthems ever. Admittedly I like the drop which reminds me of Timebase - Fireball. But that's it. Not enough for me NOT to hate it. Pure froth.

    All the remixes are crap as well. From the chipmunked jungle versions to the handbag to the UK gar(b)age. There's probably a crappy dubstep, grime, crunk, trap, bounce, scouse house, donk, liquid drum n bass, happy cheesecore, ghetto, RnB, "electro"house, melodyne, autotune or hands in the air pop trance ibiza mix by now as well...

    The breakdown with the vocoder ''underground is where we wanna go moving, house the crowd'', dirty synth which sounds like Timebase - Fireball, the Armando acid squelch sample and mentasm sample is the only good part. Should remove the aforementioned chunk and make a completely different tune out of it. The rest of the candy froth can be flushed down the toilet.

  2. 6 For Sale from $18.99

    Don't Go --- I hate the piano and vocals on this.

    Headstrong on the flip isn't half bad though. Nice bit of bleepy breakbeat hardcore techno.

  3. 11 For Sale from $25.00

    Don't Go (Kicks Like A Mule Mix)

    This one's even worse than the original! Yuk :(

  4. 33 For Sale from $5.06

    Some Justice

    Hey.. I love the Run's House breaks and the bass on this record... BUT it's been severely overplayed, vastly overrated and the eternally shite 'Someday' vocal breakdown is the absolute pits.

    Always preferred the flipside Ruff Justice. The Concrete Jungle Mix is even worse as it contains more of the vocal and more chipmunks which I hate.

  5. 20 For Sale from $12.65

    Some Justice (Concrete Jungle Mix)

    Even worse than the original. More vocals, annoying chipmunks. That jump-up jungle version from the mid '90s is bloody awful too.

  6. Piano chipmunk cheese. Say no more!

  7. This one is the worst version of all the Trip To The Moons. 100% pure cheese. The first two were shockingly powerful, but this is watered down pish.

  8. 65 For Sale from $1.08

    This one has to go in.

    Overplayed and vastly overrated. More vast than the pacific.

  9. 60 For Sale from $3.80

    Ridiculously crap. Big up to all those pogo stick numpties.

  10. 60 For Sale from $1.08

    Fingers down the throat. Goes on forever. One of the most overplayed anthems there is. Walked off when this came on at the clubs.

  11. 15 For Sale from $4.35

    Fucking disgusting. Hated that high pitched shrill then, hate it even more so now. And that piano is so grating.

  12. Big with the masses. Pure chipmunks. Cheesy as hell. Overplayed.

    The worst combination in a hardcore track for me are speeded up shrill, chipmunk vocals, tinny skittery beats, overtly happy pianos and jungleistic chipmunked rudebwoy, yardie chants and motifs. This contains the bloody lot!

    To my two sisters that worshipped this crap?? If you ever get to read this. You've always both had the cheesiest, tackiest taste in music :P

  13. 3 For Sale from $63.28

    Biggest load of tosh ever. Sampling the horrid crap vocal and piano of a crap pop tune.

    Tacky, cheesy, female vocal chipmunks. For the nine year old massive.

    Why did hardcore, jungle and rave music in general end up going down this route? It had so much promise at the end of 1990 and 1991, then the gorgonzola just took over.

  14. 12 For Sale from $12.01

    Poppy prog house cheese. Fingers down the gullet yet again. Handbags at dawn.

  15. Hold It Down

    Seems obligatory by all old school DJs to always play this. Think of something a bit more original to play for fux aches!

  16. 6 For Sale from $30.43

    Biggest load of crap ever. Possibly spoiled any if a very few good memories I had of 1994!

    I've never liked ragga jungle. It always sounded tacky to me. Once upon a time in the 1980s I actually didn't mind a bit of Dancehall and Ragga on its own terms. But was put well off it once it merged with Jungle.

  17. 21 For Sale from $37.97

    OMG more 100% cheese. Not sure if I dislike this more than M Beat's incredible. Both up there anyway.

    I've never liked ragga jungle. It always sounded tacky to me. Once upon a time in the 1980s I actually didn't mind a bit of Dancehall and Ragga on its own terms. But was put well off it once it merged with Jungle.

  18. 13 For Sale from $1.63

    One of the worst '80s pop-dance-electro tracks of all time. I very rarely throw up, but get that feeling every time this comes on.

  19. 78 For Sale from $1.71

    ^As above. If not more so.

  20. 68 For Sale from $10.00

    I'm not even going to explain why... Eurgh!

  21. 13 For Sale from $29.10

    Hmmm. Sorry, but this has to go in for me.

    A number of reasons:

    1) It was and still is very overplayed.
    2) Overhyped, overrated.
    3) I personally think they've produced much better, more revolutionary records.
    4) I much prefer their harder, more extreme stuff.
    5) Never was that enamoured with it in the first place.
    6) Not keen with the vocal sample.
    7) Perhaps I'm too narrow minded. Who cares!
    8) Many seem to think this is the best thing FSOL did. They are evidently wrong.
    9) I think the main reason is point no.1.

  22. 114 For Sale from $0.11

    Cringed every time this came on. The vocal also quite 'blokey' which is a turn off.

  23. Garish, northern piano house anthem. Not for me at all.

  24. 26 For Sale from $2.71

    More cheesy organ piano driven prog house dirge which was big up norf.

  25. I Know

    Yes, I know you know that I think this is shite.

  26. 72 For Sale from $2.16


  27. 29 For Sale from $5.48

    What You Need...

    Italo piano garish garagey handbag house cheese fest.

    I don't mind ''A Little Piano'' though. I think it's because it's closer to the kind of early deeper, funkier house music from the mid to late '80s rather than the flamboyant style screamers.

  28. 16 For Sale from $3.33

    Even more italo garish piano garagey handbag house cheese fest.

  29. 41 For Sale from $6.52

    On A Ragga Tip

    When 'Way In My Brain' first came out, I liked it. But soon was sick of it. This, I always thought was complete tosh.

  30. 54 For Sale from $5.06

    Out Of Space / Ruff In The Jungle Bizness

  31. 42 For Sale from $2.17

    I didn't mind this at the time although its commercial feel did make me cringe somewhat. But the vocals were really off putting.

    The rap and singing vocal are really unnecessary. And that JFK sample is as cheesy as Gorgonzola.

  32. 29 For Sale from $31.65

    I never want to have to listen to this ever, ever again. I don't care how much of an anthem people think it is.

  33. 41 For Sale from $2.61

    More garagey, posey, handbag nonsense. Which quickly developed or at least heavily influenced the UK Garage sound circa late 1996 onwards. Posers, blingers, coke heads, narcissists, ex junglists. Then came the thugs. A nice big happy marriage of posing, arrogance and violence.

  34. 50 For Sale from $5.00

    Circulating since late 1991. Biggest load of tosh ever. Overplayed anthem. All the wide boys loved it. This was the beginning of the end in many ways.

    Very simplistic. Crap, annoying vocal samples. And some of the most obvious samples from other tracks.

    'If your name's not dan (down) you're not comin' in. Not tonight. You're not on the list'. I told you once I told you twice etc... What.. a... load... of... monkey... wank...

    Wasn't very keen with bouncers as it was. Most I've come across were as thuggish if not more than the thugs they were trying to keep out. Last thing I want to listen to is a jacked up arrogant narcissistic meat head telling me I can't come in while I'm buzzing :P

  35. 26 For Sale from $7.75

    Where do I begin? Honestly. I really can't understand why so many people actually like this shite. Seriously. Awful.

    This must not only be the worst PJ & Smiley ever concept (sorry guys), but also one of the worst rave, hardcore anthems to be pressed on plastic. The only thing I can think of is that the guys were overwhelmed with the propect of wads of "£££££" at the time.

    The vocal is Godawful, the rendition of Walking In Memphis is equally one of the worst ideas to be formulated. What a horrendous record to make a cover of in the first place.

    Everyone bemoans the rave scene as a joke due to other ridiculous incarnations such as Sesame's Treat & Trip To trumpton but which were laughable at best - although Trip To Trumpton contained some seriously good breaks - there was no saving grace though. Raving I'm Raving is right up there with the atrociously worst of them. In many ways this is much worse than those mentioned above, as I doubt this was trying to take the piss like many others were and was from a quite an underground and reasonably credible crew. A guarantee to make me want to get off the dancefloor or leave the venue. Certainly killed my buzz.

    Get the sick bucket out as quickly as possible and chuck this in the never returning from the black hole of oblivion already. Please!

  36. 23 For Sale from $10.86

    I Need Your Love (Real Hardcore Mix)

    One of the cheesiest. If not the cheesiest anthems ever. Again, much like 'Raving I'm Raving', rips off some crap '70s austere piano pop ballad , chipmunks it up and, hey presto, instant gorgonzola. It's a shame as the previous 'Hardcore EP' contained a couple of stonkers. This one's just an overrated, overplayed stinker!

  37. 39 For Sale from $9.78


    I found this overrated even for back then. And the stupid '70s advert sample wasn't the main reason. I just wasn't keen with the modified mentasm synth as it sounded crap to me. I like mentasm and many other tunes which have subsequently acquired it. The example above just sounded really childish. i was often very polite with my raving peers but secretly couldn't stand it.

    I used to like 'Your Love' a bit more due to the dark, acidy synth breakdown and break similar to Trigger - Wisdom. But it was let down, even for back then because of the really cheesy stabs and toytown bleeps. The piano doesn't help either. The remix found on their debut LP is much, much, much worse.

  38. 42 For Sale from $2.99

    I'm possibly the only person who's always found this bland, uninspiring, incredibly mainstream sounding and annoying. Overplayed and overrated. Unfortunately played by all the, then, big name DJs [minus the jungle and garage ones] so couldn't escape it!

  39. 101 For Sale from $0.63

    Having to endure listening to this on commercial radio, Sharon & Tracy Ritzy clubs - you know the type 'Cinderella Rockerfellers at the edge of some seedy casino on the other side of Dunstable Downs & Luton etc' meat market crap, you know the type of clubs, unfortunately on pirate radio stations aswell, was more than painful :(

  40. 66 For Sale from $1.00

    As above, although the people into this thought they were all spiritual, soulful, hip and coooool.

  41. 76 For Sale from $12.00

    Blah blah blah blah. She's homeless. I couldn't care less if she was arse chapless. Aaaaaaaargh !!!!

  42. Richie Rich - You Used To Salsa

    Salsa House would have been an eternal house classic. But then they decided to mash it up with Ralphi Rosario. It put me off Salsa House for a good few years and couldn't help associate it with one of the most overrated, overplayed, annoying vocal gar(b)age house tracks of the century.

    The offender was inevitably remixed or sampled in the late '90s/early 2000s into a much, much worse UK garage tune. Oh so fucking predictable.

  43. 59 For Sale from $6.64

    Everybody In The Place (Fairground Remix)

    Edam, Gouda, cheddar, childish bollocks.

  44. 57 For Sale from $9.78

    The Sound Of Eden


    I think this was the beginning of the end of a relationship I was in with my then girlfriend as my true colours of disliking this track were appearing and she despised me for it. As I was becoming more vocally bold with what I disliked by then. She just couldn't understand how I could not like it. Silly person :P

  45. 18 For Sale from $7.19

    See no.4 'Urban Shakedown!'

  46. 7 For Sale from $32.61

    Closer To All Your Dreams (Hibrid Mix)

    Simply overplayed and overrated from the get go.

  47. 10 For Sale from $18.99

    We Are Hardcore (Magic-Fantasy Mix)

    The vocal on this makes me feel sick.

    I preferred the original although that is mighty cheesy as well. At least that one has better breaks.

    Side AA of this is much better and quite underrated in my opinion.

  48. Was one of the few who disliked this at the time whilst everyone was deliriously loving it. Hate the vocals, soooo fucking tacky. One of the worst releases on Nu Groove Records in my opinion.

  49. I'm here to spread love all over the world, right here right now...

    The sentiment's honourable, the vocal and piano cheese is disgusting.

    Those horrible vocals have subsequently been sampled by many artists. More famously that awful Fat Boy Slim mainstream big beat smash hit cheesefest from the late 90s.

  50. 17 For Sale from $25.30


    Yup, I was there alright and I never liked this track. Really cheesy stabs, horrible chipmunks etc. The main track is much more solid.

  51. I like the original Jamie Principal, classic. I've always hated this mash up/remix.

  52. 77 For Sale from $0.54

    What an annoying, campy vocal. Camp song in general. Eurgh.

  53. 29 For Sale from $4.34

    The Rat Pack might have been technically good at DJing and were important for the organisation of the early rave scene. But much of their selection was pure cheddar. And their own ideas were often much worse. Minus one or two decent ok productions.

    This is a prime example of one of their irritating cheddar anthem fests.

  54. Pure 100% cheese.

    I'd better apply the breaks a bit with this kind of stuff otherwise I'll be here forever as there are literally thousands of these kind of happy chipmunk hardcore jungle tracks. It'll be unfair to lump the whole genre into this list. Haha! Or would it?

    Had to endure endlessly listening to this 100% cheddar 'loud' back in the day when I was still living with my younger sister. Both from her own purchases and from her listening to chipmunk jungle pirate stations such as Eruption FM, Kool FM, Deffection, Rude, Dream etc with all that MCing malarkey. I got to know of plenty of it without even trying to. A far cry from the original pirate stations of 1988-1991. Sigh :(

  55. Let's get one thing straight, the production is actually very good quality for an old skool hardcore track. But most pop music is well produced too, doesn't make it any good though.

    One of the cheesiest tracks there is. Most overplayed? It's up there with 'Let Me Be Your Fantasy' surely.

  56. Eurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh !!!!

  57. For the kiddy 10 year old crew.

  58. 8 For Sale from $41.76

    I had some joker telling me I "can't have been there" because I admitted I was sick of this tune. I was DEFINITELY there, I've been there since the late Spring/Summer of 1988 and into some kind of electronic music long before that for fuxache! And tunes like this one made me sometimes feel like I wish that I wasn't. Chipmunks, cheese, everything that spoiled the hardcore scene for me.

    The 'Degrees In Motion' track they ripped off is even shittier.

  59. 29 For Sale from $9.00

    40 Miles

    Better Grooves is a much better tune in my opinion.

    40 Miles is pure cheese. Not only because of the obvious piano that was nicked from Better Days, but the Full Moon stabs as well.

    Better Grooves is a nice broken beat style Detroit Techno syncopated bass track which I much prefer.

  60. 38 For Sale from $3.26

    Having to endure this especially between the years 1988 to 1990 was a nightmare for me. The ironic thing was, when I first heard that glacial toned, steel drum intro I thought, wow, this sounds different and interesting. But then enters the vocal, then the piano. The predictability of utter mainstream dance house cheese ensues and engulfs. It doesn't help that the vocal reminds me of Princess from the mid 80s. Sadly, so many artists, particularly the cheesy UK hardcore variety sampled the vocals and pianos for their own even cheesier productions for years to come. I wasn't permitted to ever forget it. Also, the mates surrounding me who seemed to love this campy dirge.

  61. This one was utter shite from the word go. DJs that played this obviously had no idea. And there were quite a few. Obviously weren't from an original underground house or even old school hip hop background but from a mainstream pop jumping on the acid house bandwaggon players for the bucks.

  62. No comment needed.

  63. Utter cheese.

    Nothing beats their debut 12" Live The Dream from 1990. That is real class.

    This on the other hand was for the 'pop mainstream massive' that weren't previously fans of real house / techno music. Jumped on the bandwaggon when they discovered pills and glow sticks.

  64. Damn this was commercial and really fucking cheesy. Overplayed and overrated. I used to quite like the original Dancehall anthem at the time although I'm certainly not a fan of it anymore. But tracks like these put me off reggae as a whole for a number of years. Some artists were doing it really decently like Project One's Smokin' Chalice for instance = mixing the dub with the powerful breakbeat techno, some might call it 'jungle techno'. Although in my opinion has to be faster than 140BPM, that one isn't. Anyway....

    Unfortunately for me, this dancehall style swiftly became more common and started to saturate the scene, enter 'ragga jungle' a couple of years later, and signalling the beginning of the end of the original acid house utopian vision. As far as I was concerned anyway.

  65. 126 For Sale from $0.52

    'Piss in the alley' more like. Horrendous.

  66. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh !!!!!!!!

  67. Biggest load of cack ever. Only second to the Bucketheads.

  68. One of the worst house / dance tracks I've ever heard. And the original it's taken from is SHIT and all.

  69. Too deaf to hear how annoyingly repetitively crap this is.

  70. 98 For Sale from $0.22

    Nah. Wouldn't touch with a barge pole.

  71. 39 For Sale from $8.70


  72. Perhaps I haven't got a sense of humour. I beg to differ. Just a different sense of humour, not void of a sense of humour. In any case, La Bamba is a complete and utter pile of a stinking pile of dirty, fresh, hot, steaming, heaped, epic, mountain full of a dirty dog's arsehole full of stinking, vomit inducing, dripping diarrhea SHITE straight on the lap !!!!

  73. 15 For Sale from $8.86

    Perhaps I haven't got a sense of humour. I beg to differ. Just a different sense of humour, not void of a sense of humour.

    In any case, Rub A Dub is a complete and utter pile of stinking pile of dirty, fresh, hot, steaming, heaped, epic, mountain full of a dirty dog's arsehole full of stinking, vomit inducing, dripping diarrhea SHITE straight on the lap !!!!

    The other side is a proper slammer!

  74. See no.94 and no.95. But EVEN worse!!! Complete pigeon chicken horseshite. That Emmerdale themed hardcore jungle tune was also an absolute traversty. In a similar vain to this steaming pile of dogshite.

  75. Complete bollocks wank shite!

  76. Invest in a CAMPer van if you enjoy camp Cheddar crap like this.

  77. More Campness


  79. Once again a whole load of cheddary kaka. Reminds me of all those floppy-haired feminine looking Michiko Koshino dressed knobs who started to filter into the scene who believed that they were oh-so-so-cool. What an awful dreary vocal as well.

    Ride like the hot stinky flatulent wind belching out of his rectum.

  80. The producers of this record released other much more credible, underground tunes than this load of rubbish. Repetitive endless piano white gloves cheese crap. With an awful vocal sample.

  81. Commercial garage handbag crap.

  82. If Only I Could turn the clock back and wipe the memory of this load of sess pit stink.

  83. U Sure Do infuriate the fuck out of me.

  84. 33 For Sale from $13.99

    Next Is The E

    More repetitive painful piano crap accompanied with a stupid rapping chipmunk.

    The deeper, mellower mixes without the pianos are slightly better.

    To be honest, the hardcore/gabber/speedcore tune on the flip is also an abomination. The intro / first bar starts so promising and dark but only gets worse from then on. Was occasionally played at Knowledge and Eurobeat 2000 techno clubs back in 1992-1993. Definitely one of the worst tunes featured there.

    Pummeling 1000 BPMs of a four to the floor kick drum? - purely for novelty effect. And that female yelling (is it Lolleata Holloway ?) is completely useless, unnecessary, utterly diabolically infuriating load of crap. Please FUCK OFF! Will ya?!

  85. Next Is The E

  86. This outfit made some proper underground eternal classics, particularly under the GTO guise, unfortunately, this one was never one of those classics. Purely for the pogo bouncing cheddar-core massive. Doink! Doink! Doink! Doink! Doink!

  87. Doink! Doink! Doink! Doink! Doink!

    'I wanna be a hippy and I wanna get stoned?. Really? Whilst listening to this shit?

  88. 197 For Sale from $0.16

    Eurgh. Just horrible italo piano acoustic guitar crap. Tacky beyond belief.

  89. Ragga Clash

    Ragga Clash is an all round traversty. Diabolical crap. too busy, too much going on, too many vocals, too many chipmunks, too ragga. Cheesy synth stabs. And that Emmerdale Farm bit is the icing on the cake for a diarrhea cake recipe.

    However, Gunpowder on the flip is an absolute underground darkside power Breakbeat Hardcore Techno smasher. Best track on the release. Could have done without the unnecessary Baby D vocal sample though, as per usual - unnecessary vocals. Us Brits can never ever not add even more unnecessary godawful vocals can we? So obsessed with them.

    Overall a real Badass tune though.

  90. Fuck me. 'Music Sounds Better' does it? It's a shame this one will always sound like complete and utter shite isn't it? However special the woman, man, undecided, animal etc beside you is.

  91. 15 For Sale from $8.86

    Yeah, yeah.. More chipmunks, stupid ragga vocals. Crap samples and pianos. Tinny skittery beats. Sounds like gerbils sliding down a metal escalator. Cheesecore for the happy cheesecore massive.

  92. Please pass the sick bucket. It's time for the projectile vomiting. Crass loud screaming vocals and a big fat mountain of awfully loud handbaggy pianos. Awful.

  93. 49 For Sale from $0.54

    Sasha & Digweed favourite. Well they would like it. A couple of the most overrated DJs (with their generally crap music taste) ever.

    Let's face it. Anyone who mashes up Whitney Houston with Leftfield's Not Forgotten or D-Shake's Techno Trance with Sinead O'Connor must be a prize cock and deserves a slap with a wet fish.

  94. Nick Power's Eat Life - Bach To basics = Proper roller!
    Waveform - Bitches & Money / Capsule = Proper underground warehouse vibes!

    This one on the other hand. MEHHHH.

  95. What a load toilet water.

  96. 5 For Sale from $27.17


  97. Never liked this load of shite.

  98. All round stupid chipmunk and piano cheese.

  99. Fucking shite. Yes that's right. Fucking shite!

  100. Feel The Rush (Vocal Mix)

  101. 5 For Sale from $44.29

    I Know

  102. 6 For Sale from $14.51

    This is a load of commercial Top Of The Pops style dance poo. Horrid stuff. Reminds me of all those crappy commercial hands-in-the-air dance acts with cameras zooming into cheesy camp dancers' crotches, badly synched voice overs, and a piano keyboard player dressed in hideous clothing - probably a tall skinny lanky fella with a ridiculous clown outfit and dyed Ronaldo MacDonald red hair and a stupid hat.

    This is pure kaka! And I'm not talking about some technically gifted South American Football player - 'Soccer player' for those who think shoulder padded and helmet Rugby is Football.

    Nothing like their underground warehouse classic 'Music Please' from 1990.

  103. Load of shit. Crap style MCing, shite cheesy samples. Rapper sounds about 9 years of age. Wank! Never liked this.

  104. 27 For Sale from $16.39

    (SL2 Remix)

    I've always thought this remix was fucking shite.

  105. 22 For Sale from $44.29

    Shining In Da Darkness /
    Gonna Be Alright (Cloud 9 Remix)

  106. 6 For Sale from $101.27

    Kind of piano italo shite cheese my sister was into and everyone who loved Sasha style obvious cheese crap worship.