Tony Santos (3) – Estate Con... Aqualand

It's very hard for me to rate this record. It is absolutely terrible, but in the most entertaining way possible. These songs feature some very dinky drum machine action, terribly played and very cheap sounding keyboards, atrocious singing and all of it is mixed so poorly that it is almost impressive. It doesn't help that Tony also sounds like he was recorded through a toaster.

Knowing that it was actually intended to be sold as a souvenir (check out those Aqualand photos in the gatefold) is really quite amazing considering what it sounds like. Imagine buying this as a souvenir from your nice trip, going home, popping this on the turntable to remind you of your pleasant excursion only to hear Tony drunkenly crooning over these awful instrumentals. Even worse, imagine buying this as a gift for a loved one that couldn't travel with you. At least they probably wouldn't be so envious for missing out after hearing this. What kind of places were Scauri and Lavinio in the 80s-90s if this is the best they could do? I can't help but wonder about Tony's backstory.

Again, this leaves me confused as to how I should rate this record. It has this weird vibe to it (given that it is a waterpark themed souvenir that sounds THIS bad) and all of the songs are at the same time hilariously bad, so-bad-that-they-verge-on-creepy, and even charmingly bad. I could rate it 1/5 because it is, objectively, awful, but I could also rate it 5/5 because of how subjectively entertaining it is to me. I guess I can't help it. I think I love this record and besides, it has such a low rating (as of writing this), that one little 5 can't hurt too much. I guess... as shameful as it may be... I am a Tony Santos fan.

Favourite song: Sex

I looked up Aqualand, Lavinio on Google and got mostly photos of abandoned, overgrown water slides...