No Artist ‎– 100% Genuine

Rephlex ‎– BOX 2676


1 Steve 1:24
2 John 0:25
3 Tony 0:23
4 Colin 1:22
5 Mick 0:55
6 Sandra 0:31
7 Janet 0:48
8 Mark 0:43
9 Alex 1:18
10 Lee 0:33
11 David 1:00
12 Jane 0:22
13 Mark 0:43
14 Steve 0:42
15 Jack 0:36
16 Dave 0:18
17 Michael 0:30
18 Jackie 0:25
19 Julian 0:49
20 Dark, Tall And Slim 0:42
21 Bethany 0:35
22 Sean 0:21
23 Andrew 0:46
24 Andy 0:21
25 Pamela 1:27
26 Del 0:54
27 Andy 0:42
28 Ruth 1:21
29 Joyce 0:25
30 Stewart 0:40
31 Katrina 0:38
32 Jonathan 0:38
33 Kate 0:39
34 Rick 0:44
35 Steve 0:51
36 Catherine 2:03
37 Mark 1:01
38 Felicity 1:34
39 Robert 0:30
40 Lee 0:44


  • Other [All Calls Taken By] – Kumars


Collection of 40 mailbox messages to a real dating agency.
Catalog # 2676 equals Rephlex's PO Box #

Made in England.
Distributed in the UK by Vital.

Barcode and Other Identifiers

  • Barcode: 6 66908 26762 6
  • Matrix / Runout: BOX2676 01 %
  • Mould SID Code: IFPI 0430


Reviews Show All 6 Reviews

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May 14, 2019
used this for a number of samples and continue to use it, if you know me then you know it hahahaha


June 5, 2018
Up there with the greatest releases ..always has me howling


July 26, 2017

100% Genuine is undoubtedly the most extravagant and 'outstanding' album in the entire Rephlex catalog. The label's crew presented here a private collection of authentic voicemail messages, left by a bunch of perverted and/or desperate middle-aged people on a dating agency number. It's not entirely clear whether this tape was obtained by a dishonest employee of a legitimate matchmaking enterprise or recorded by a prankster pretending to be XXX dating hotline – very brief credits on the back cover only mention that all calls were taken by mysterious 'Kumars.' Nevertheless, for 40 lonely souls (of all sexes and ages, gay and straight, kinky and repressed) who dialed this number it clearly was a real deal, so all of them are uncannily open and sincere about, perhaps, most intimate fantasies and sexual exploits.

At the first glance, this album is nothing more than a low-browed joke, and has absolutely nothing to do with Rephlex aesthetics and artistic ideas. A patient and focused listener, though, may easily find a certain appeal in this surrealistic collection of human voices submerged in a hazy analog tape hiss, monotonous and on some hidden level even rhythmical. As always, a real-life storytelling beats even the most exquisite and perverse fiction, and 100% Genuine provides an eye-opening, peculiar, at times hilarious, and inexplicably dark journey across the stenchy dwellings of sexually unsatisfied human mind.

A certain highlights of the compilation include a 40 year old virgin Del (spelled D-E-L), a retired monk of a semi-silent religious order looking for a 'female' age between 18 to 25 years maximum to teach him the art of sexual performance. Dave from the West Midlands is into yellow and red, and also body-shaving, and needs help getting very smooth and clean. A creeper Jonathan, retired schoolmaster type looking for 'not too heavily built' pupils to give them a severe beating, perhaps should have been scrutinized by the law enforcement, but his screamingly funny animated vocalizations of each good Ouch, Arghh, and Whooorrrph of his potential 'students' make track 32 one of the true gems.

Some of the contributing vocalists should get a proper credit merely for a sound of their voice: an astounding Colin's stutter on track 4 will match any sophisticated Max/MSP patch by the most acclaimed clicks'n'cuts or glitch maestros. (And nnnnn-no-no-no time wasters, P-please). While Alex, a handsome 29 y.o. 5ft tall über-nerd, perfectly mimics a time-stretch effect in his speech, progressing throughout his track from a barely recognizable nasal voice to completely homogenous primordial mumble.

A few tracks have an interesting acoustic ambiance – such as a very subtle faux New Age on a hypnotizing Katrina (one of my personal favorites), or street noises on Dark, Tall & Slim – quite a self-righteous fella I must say, who apparently made the call from a busy public place. Being a true gentleman, he also included a government health warning for brave ladies: don't open yourself for more that you can take. He's not shy, and will try most things. Most things – not everything. Again, thanks for a heads-up!

An evil perverted acapella twin of notorious 'album-as-a-sample-library' Gescom - Minidisc, 100% Genuine had already become a source of inspiration for a few electronic musicians, namely Mike Paradinas who sampled a voice of a 'very kinky' teenager Lee (the only performer featured on two tracks, 10 and 40 respectively) for 'Housewife,' the opening song on Kid Spatula's third album Meast in 2004.


April 18, 2016
When I worked in HMV about 10 years ago I looked on the system for Rephlex compilation albums. Saw this for 99p and ordered it assuming it was a sampler album like Braindance Coincidence.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
Del the ex silent monk who was looking for a young lady to teach him "the art of sexual performance" has to be my favourite.


February 11, 2012
edited over 7 years ago
RE: below comment - no, it wasn't a 'fake dating agency'...sadly, this album truly is 100% Genuine!
A very unprofessional employee made a cassette full of these to play to his disbelieving mates, one of whom was a member of the Rephlex posse, who deemed them worthy of release!

April 4, 2006
edited over 13 years ago
This is 40 recordings left by people on a fake dating agency answering machine. Some are bizarre, some are very plain, all expose people with their guards down. Don't buy this if you're expecting music - there isn't any. Not your typical Rephlex release, but it does exactly what it sets out to do.

Trivia: track 40, "Lee", was sampled by Kid Spatula (aka Mu-Ziq) on his album "Meast".