Various – How To Kill All Happy Suckerz

Although not as popular as the Dutch Gabber scene, the German Hartcore scene was really thriving with an abundance of interesting and talented DJs and producers. Not to mention the weekly parties going on around Germany. It could be said that German Hardcore and Speedcore was an aggressive middle finger to commercial music, specifically Trance and Mayday. To illustrate that point, to counter act the famous Love Parade, the German underground Techno and Hardcore scene had the Fuck Parade! Artists at the forefront of German Hardcore would be Marc Acardipane, The Speedfreak, Kotzaak, even Praxis and Fischkopf. Another artist that can't be ignored is Noize Creator. His music is a very good example of harsh, experimental Hardcore and Speedcore. Like many artists, he was able to eject his creativity on his own record label, Brutal Chud. For those who don't know C.H.U.D is a 1984 d̶o̶c̶u̶m̶e̶n̶t̶a̶r̶y̶ movie, which stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller. The movie was even referenced on The Simpsons. The fact Noize Creator added the word Brutal is amusingly over the top, and tells you everything you need to know about the music on the label. With all that in mind the delightful family friendly title, How To Kill All Happy Suckerz seems somewhat appropriate.

Fans of boyband Take That will be disappointed that the song Take That is not about Take That. No nice intro to ease you in, just 200 BPMs out the gate. There's a moody intensity to the song and some Death Metal vocal which is a good segue to the guitar riff. It's all fairly standard stuff until the track cranks up past 250 BPM and those weird "boing boing" kicks, which is interesting and different. I don't know much about S37, but the fact he did three records in three years on Juncalor, Strike and Brutal Chud respectively will give you instant underground credibility.

First of the international guests on this record. Originally a D2 track on the first pressing, Init Data shoots up to A2 on the repress, you'd think Micropoint would be happy with that. I was never into 21st Century Micropoint, but I have been told by the experts that their material in the 90's was far more better. The prices for some of their records here on Discogs does indicate that. After a long-ish intro of a convincing French computer there's a wobbly synth line that dominates the track. And that's really all there is, the track trundles along for six long minutes. I do like the fact the song title sounds very similar to the British slang word, innit. Pas mal pas bon.

Being demoted from A2 to A3 we have Black Blood, well if you have black blood you're probably a demon or really need to see a doctor. Initially you're thinking its another boring track, but things pick up with a tidy electric stab section with an almost playful vibe to it. This perfectly leads into a more bombastic Euromasters like sound that's great and seamlessly mixed in is a high pitched windy sound effect to top everything off. There's even a tasty Acid riff thrown in for good measure at the end. I had no expectations for Lost Worlds and I'm genuinely surprised how good it is. As a bonus, due to its speed, I reckon you could chuck this into a Gabber DJ set. In among all the bigger names, its cool to see a lesser known artist producing a gem like this.

Despite the German name, the notorious trio from The Hunter, Nasenbluten send their greetings from Australia in the form of Markt Frisch Terror. The intro is typically hilarious with an old instructional film or an actual film conversation between a mother and her daughter. Sounds like the type of thing Xylocaine would do. The central thesis of this song is a Brutal diss aimed squarely at Ultra-Sonic. Nasenbluten had utter disdain for Happy Hardcore and its popularity at the time. This fierce animosity was further distilled when Ultra-Sonic played in Nasenbluten's home town of Newcastle, and were billed as Newcastle's "paramount" Hardcore experience. The Bloody Fist boys were not happy and the red mist descended. Everybody on the Bloody Fist roster performed a protest gig on Newcastle University Radio on the same night as the Ultra-Sonic party, June 9th 1995. Music wise, the first missile launched at the Glasgow duo was Annihilating Jizm (The Ultra-Cynic EP), a rather lovely cassette and clever title. In a second (maybe third or fourth) barrage one of the disses is pressed on vinyl and sent to Dresden, with the sexy title Markt Frisch Terror. The track itself is a fuckin' awesome and intense piece of anger and fury struggling to be condensed under five minutes. It's got to be pushing 300 BPM and then there's those psychotic hi-hats, plus those samples from various Ultra-Sonic tracks just waiting to be destroyed. Nasenbluten also reference themselves with Cunt Face and MC Ashley O making a cameo appearance. At certain points the track goes off the rails, which just adds to chaos. There's also a couple of Eazy-E samples, one off the intro to 5150 Home 4 Tha Sick. Also lots of gunshots, pew pew. Just like an end of credits scene, Simon Underground pops up and leaves a message on the complaints ridden Bloody Fist answering machine. He's talking about this: https://www.discogs.com/release/244169-Wvkeaf-Jump. The title refers to the Markt Frisch in Leipzig. During Nasenbluten's 1996/1997 European "Christ This Is Dragging On A Bit" Tour the three men were camped in Leipzig close to their distributor Sound Base Music. They would goto the local Markt Frisch for food and beer. And probably medicine, since poor Mark N suffered the flu from hell, in the middle of one of the coldest winters ever in Germany. With the death of Mallorca Lee from Ultra-Sonic, this song hits different. Taking out the subject matter, Markt Frisch Terror is still an incredible piece of East German Cheapcore from the East Coast of Australia.

I can't imagine he has this record, but Darkraver does use the phrase I'll Be Black. Les Diaboliques have put together a track that would be classed as Speed Metal and sounds like the type of track Loftgroover would have thrashed in the Technodrome. It's pretty full on, full of energy and is relentless during its duration. If you like guitars and death metal in your Hardcore, this one is for you.

DJ Tron goes from the final track to the slightly less obscure B3 position. Chicago Hardcore Speedcore legend DJ Tron contributes his own brand of violent Hardcore with the aptly titled Bloody Horror. Following on from I'll Be Black, the Heavy Metal theme continues but with balls to the wall 909 bassdrums! Reading a DJ Tron interview, his inspiration came from watching lots of Horror movies, which probably explains the song title. Bloody Horror is decent but I've heard better from him. Rest In Peace DJ Tron.

Da Pailheads ist sehr seltsam und ich verstehe es nicht. Entschuldigung.

If you go from A3 to the first track on the second vinyl, is that a demotion or a promotion? Even though the name Choose is a fairly innocuous English word is just so happens to be Denmark's dirty king of Acidcore, the one and only Lasse Steen. The track opens with an oddly rhythmic Speedcore drum pattern, like, you can really bob your head to it. Prezentationz eventually settles down, with a trademark brooding Acid riff bubbling above the surface. Because of the atypical drum pattern how to play this track is a challenge, and maybe that was the intention by Lasse Steen. Taking a stab in the dark, it would sound killer in a harder Gabber set or a really grungy Acidcore set. Either way, off the back of those Drop Bass Network releases, you gotta admire the music of DJ Choose.

From a Danish legend we goto a British legend, DJ Freak. As a Australian, I want to say the Nasenbluten track is my favourite on this double vinyl, but in reality Romper Stomper edges out Markt Frisch Terror, just. Like most Freak tracks the tune is bang out of order somewhere between 200-300 BPM. Leading off with an ominous synth line, painful stabs and those fucking distorted kickdrums! But the star attraction here is the demented telephone "melody" that sounds brilliant, the way he manipulates it is just crazy amazing! And it doesn't let up, it just keeps going, and its quite high end probably leading to some form of tinnitus. I love this track, and I'm not the only one, even Aphex Twin has been known to drop Romper Stomper in his DJ set. I told DJ Freak about this and he was really happy! On a slightly related note, Romper Stomper is the name of a 1992 Australian movie, its the movie that made Russell Crowe famous. The movie is about neo nazis in Melbourne, Australia. When I was in school, anyone who shaved their head were called Romper Stomper. In my honest opinion, this is a fantastic example of Industrial Speedcore and the best song DJ Freak ever made. Take a bow John, you deserve it. :)

The label manager, Noize Creator, joins in on the madness with NBK Pt.1-3 or Nbk (Edited) depending on which pressing you have. After some stern words in Deutsch, it all very chaotic. Shouty German vocals, gunshots and glass breaking. Sounds like a very intense German film. There's also dramatic movie sounds over the pounding Hardcore beats. I'd imagine ze Germans can only fully appreciate this track. More nasty Noizecore from Noize Creator.

More international guests, from the land of the rising sun, Japan. Taking a break from sending music to Speedfreak in Kaiserslautern, the Hammer Bros. make a detour to Dresden. Keeping up the international theme, Battle Of Britain/Worlds Loosest continues the shout fest with an unhappy Japanese woman.... and then there's the screaming. I think there's a Cheech and Chong sample somewhere in there. Despite how fast it is, it's bland and probably only resonates with people from Japan. How To Bore All Happy Suckerz. From a Australian point of view the term Loosest usually means somebody who does crazy, silly or stupid things. The real Battle Of Britain of 1997 happened on the 21st of November 1997 at Bath Pavillion between Slipmatt from England, Marc Smith from Scotland and Tizer from (Northern) Ireland.

Re.Pete is the other American artist on this double record. You know, if you make a track at 8 fucking long minutes, could you be at least kinda interesting. So you have a studio, and THIS is the best you could muster up? The most noteworthy thing here is the word Vynechat, which from my research is the Czech word for leave (out)/skip/exclude or omit. Maybe something to do with the vinyl pressing plant Gramofonové Závody, or something more personal to Re.Pete.

Going from C3 to D3, and continuing to whole Kill Happy people thing, we have Leben Und Tod: Life And Death. Following Cenobite Records example, the track has some suitable Hellraiser samples. At various points it's distorted and a pronounced Heavy Metal stab, but in the end it reminds me of Marshmellow Alien - Welcome To Alien City. I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.

As someone who likes some Happy Hardcore, I wonder if the name of this record is aimed at people like me, it's OK, I get what Noize Creator is trying to say. I'm fairly certain the repress was in conjunction with Sound Base Music. That's how I got it, through Mark N at Bloody Fist HQ with his passive aggressive emails: GO GO GO!!!! Even though this is a German record, the international artists from around the world makes this special, even the vinyl was pressed in the Czech Republic. If you like Hartcore and Speedcore from Deutschland I would recommend this C.H.U.D.